


Mononucleosis

by lesmiserablol



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Grantaire, M/M, Secret Relationship, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 00:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4808564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesmiserablol/pseuds/lesmiserablol
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It started with some girl named Lauren, who kissed a Samantha, who shared a glass with Alex, who let his friend Cassie take a bite of his sandwich, who kissed Bahorel, who got his beer stolen from Grantaire, who kissed Enjolras. Basically, Enjolras and Grantaire find it hard to be so secretive about their relationship when they both get "the kissing disease".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mononucleosis

"I feel like death." Grantaire declares with a sigh when he collapses into a chair at the Musain that night. He drops his head on the table and Joly immediately scoots his chair away before leaning forward.  
  
"What are your symptoms? Do you have a cough? What about a fever? Have you been sneezing? Any diarrhea?"  
  
Grantaire cuts him off with a grimace and a raise of his hand. "No, thank goodness. Just _exhausted._   And my head and throat hurt. I guess I feel pretty warm too. I just...bleh."  
  
"Have you eaten anything today?" Joly interrogates, and Grantaire shakes his head.  
  
"Haven't been hungry."  
  
"Have you kissed anyone lately?" Combeferre questions, overhearing the conversation as he passes out the agenda for tonight's meeting.  
  
Grantaire is grateful that no one can read his mind and that he is better at controlling his blush than the very man he is thinking of. He puts on a smirk and avoids looking at the front of the room. "You know me, your local bisexual, kissing everyone left and right."  
  
Joly rolls his eyes and exchanges a look with Combeferre. "Maybe you have mono?"  
  
"Mono? Isn't that what I had, Joly?" Bahorel's voice booms from one table over.  
  
"Yes, actually, you did have it a few days ago..." Joly replies thoughtfully, then gives Grantaire a look. Combeferre does the same.  
  
"Wha-? Oh, no, _no!_ I did _not_ kiss Bahorel!" Grantaire closes his eyes. "You guys are ridiculous."  
  
"Ouch, am I really that bad?" Bahorel frowns, but there is a teasing glint in his eye.  
  
"Well, kissing isn't the only way it can be transmitted. Have you exchanged saliva with Bahorel in any other way?" Combeferre continues.  
  
Courfeyrac has just entered and chokes on a swig of water from his cup. " _What_ are we talking about?"  
  
"They think I have mono." Grantaire explains.  "And no, I...oh. I took his beer from him what, two days ago? Found it still in our apartment this morning, took a few sips and it wasn't very good so I tossed it. You think that did it?"  
  
"You took my beer?" Bahorel whines.  
  
"You were so wasted, man, it had to be done."  
  
"I believe that could've done it, yes." Joly nods. "You better rest up and eat healthy the next few days so you can get better, but until then, keep your saliva to yourself."  
  
Grantaire sighs. "Well, thanks for solving the mystery, I guess."  
  
"Anytime." Combeferre returns to his task and finishes right as Enjolras stands up to begin the meeting.  
  
Grantaire thought his crush on Enjolras would be under control once they started dating, but he was so wrong. He still stares at him the whole time and even winks when they make eye contact. He doesn't refrain from his usual criticisms and opinions, of course. So that's how they end up having a discussion that would have turned into an argument had things not been different between them. As soon as the door closes behind Combeferre reminding Grantaire to go home soon and sleep, Enjolras waits only a moment before he grabs Grantaire by the front of his shirt and kisses him fiercely without warning. It takes him a few seconds to kiss him back, but then Grantaire pulls away, surprised at the effort it takes because of the strength of the grip on his shirt.  
  
Enjolras licks his lips then frowns. "What? Is something wrong?"  
  
The look he gives makes Grantaire laugh. "No, it's fine, it's not you. I just feel terrible and I don't want to get you sick."  
  
"I don't mind." Enjolras insists, kissing him again before he can protest. His tongue darts out to lick Grantaire's bottom lip, and anything he was going to say dies in his throat. Well, Enjolras has a compelling argument, and Grantaire can't say he didn't try.

 

* * *

 

They have movie night the next day, and Grantaire is grateful when he opens the door to Joly handing him some tea and asking if he has a sore throat yet. Grantaire nods and settles in an armchair in the apartment that Combeferre and Enjolras share. He is sipping his tea and watching Bossuet and Courfeyrac try to decide over which movie to watch when Enjolras enters with the pizza, setting it on the coffee table before collapsing on the couch.  
  
"Sorry I took so long, I'm exhausted." He sighs, closing his eyes, and Grantaire is watching him so neither see the look the others exchange.  
  
"You look pretty feverish, are you feeling okay?" Combeferre asks, setting some paper plates next to the pizza boxes.  
  
"Maybe you caught what Grantaire has!" Courfeyrac suggests loudly, and suddenly Grantaire is refusing to look anyone in the eye.  
  
"What does Grantaire have?" Enjolras questions the group at large, and Grantaire knows it'd be suspicious for him to stare at the pizza boxes any longer, so he gives him a small smile and turns to Joly to speak for him as he sips his tea.  
  
"He's got mononucleosis." Joly explains, and Enjolras still looks confused, so he adds, "Mono. The kissing disease."  
  
Grantaire sighs internally once the red blush appears on Enjolras's cheeks and his lips tighten. "I probably just didn't sleep well last night, that's all."  
  
"Right, I'm sure that's it." Feuilly says, not trying very hard to hide his amusement and disbelief, and Jehan giggles.  
  
"Who wants pizza?" Enjolras asks quickly, trying to sound casual but his voice is slightly higher than usual.  
  
Grantaire rolls his eyes. So much for waiting to tell their friends about their relationship.  
  
Everyone gets distracted moments later when Bahorel comes in with a tray of his cupcakes and once they all have a few slices of pizza, a can of soda, and a cupcake (or four), they begin the movie. He isn't surprised to see its another superhero movie that they've watched several times before. He probably has it memorized by now. He doesn't find out though, for after the second scene his sickness gets to him and he passes out.  
  
When he finally wakes, it's to the failed attempt of his friends trying to leave quietly. He's very confused for a few moments before remembering where he is and what happened. He sits up, opening his mouth to ask what year it is, but Combeferre puts a finger to his lips and points at the large couch. Grantaire follows his finger to see that Enjolras is sprawled on the entire couch, mouth open and snoring, and dang does he still look cute.  
  
"You can stay the night, or you can go home with Bahorel, he's still in the kitchen." Combeferre whispers, and Grantaire realizes he had been staring.  
  
He just nods and stands to go to the kitchen. "Right. See you later."

Combeferre is giving him an amused look but doesn't voice whatever he is thinking. "Goodbye."

 

* * *

 

Grantaire sleeps into the afternoon, waking up to a text letting him know they are having an emergency meeting at the Musain soon. He knows from past experience that that usually means they want another movie night or he is needed to participate in or judge a wild game of Jenga. He is surprised when he walks in a few minutes late to see Enjolras sulking while Joly makes him drink tea from a thermos he brought with him.  
  
"Uh, are we not playing Jenga, or...?" Grantaire asks, looking at everyone sitting down at a large table made of a few smaller ones put together. They all look at him and Joly stands.  
  
"Here, take my chair." He offers, then takes a different seat. When Grantaire sits down everyone has their eyes on him and Enjolras, who are now sitting side-by-side. Most of their friends are smirking and the rest just smiling.  
  
"Is this an intervention or something?" Grantaire raises an eyebrow.

"Isn't it strange," Feuilly begins. "That you get mono? Otherwise known as the kissing disease?"

"And then Enjolras gets mono the very next day?" Jehan finishes.

"Yeah, I guess." Grantaire shrugs. "Must be going around."  
  
"Oh, give it up. Why didn't you two tell us about your relationship?" Bossuet questions.  
  
Grantaire pales while Enjolras blushes and opens his mouth to say something, but Joly stops him. "No talking until you've finished your tea, remember? Grantaire answers."  
  
He clears his throat and ignores Enjolras drinking the tea as fast as he can without getting burnt. "Uh, well, it was pretty new and I guess we wanted to make sure it was a good idea before telling you guys, but after a while we just didn't know how to bring it up so we kept quiet."  
  
"And you thought we wouldn't find out? Please, you two couldn't be more subtle if you tried." Courfeyrac folds his arms across his chest and smirks.  
  
"First, you guys were staying late after meetings all the time. Usually Grantaire left with Bahorel, so it was suspicious when he stayed behind. After a few texts we determined you two were the only ones still at the Musain." Jehan informs them.  
  
"Then there was the time Enjolras came home fifteen minutes after I did, and when he said goodnight I noticed his lips were red and swollen, and he looked pretty flustered." Combeferre adds.  
  
"Same with Grantaire." Bahorel grins,  and Grantaire hopes he interprets his glare to mean _'traitor'_.  
  
"And last but not least, 'Chetta walked in on you two making out here last week. You guys didn't even hear her." Bossuet concludes.

"The mono was just a bonus." Joly shrugs. "We knew about you two being a thing weeks ago, we just needed a plan that would out you guys and get us our revenge for being left in the dark."  
  
"Wait," Grantaire says slowly, and judging by the look on Enjolras's face, he has figured it out too. "So you guys _intentionally_   gave us mono?"  
  
"It was just our luck that Bahorel caught it. Combeferre's idea though." Feuilly informs him.  
  
"Bahroel made sure you'd take his beer, and sure enough, you drank it, got sick, then exchanged saliva with Enjolras. It worked out perfectly." Combeferre grins.

Grantaire shudders. "Dude, please stop saying the phrase 'exchange saliva'."

Enjolras finishes the last of his tea then and stands, his glare making some move back. "You said it was Combeferre's idea?"

"Courfeyrac helped!" Combeferre tells him quickly, grin falling.

There is a squeak from Courfeyrac, and Enjolras glares at him for a few seconds before his face softens and he sits back down. "Alright, I guess it was our fault for not telling you guys sooner. We're even, alright?"

Everyone quickly agrees, looking relieved, and they gather their things to leave once Joly reminds everyone that Enjolras and Grantaire still need to rest in order to recover. 

Everyone walks outside in a big group, some drifting away as they near their apartment, and Enjolras and Grantaire linger in the back of the group, holding hands.

"You weren't serious back there, right?" Grantaire asks, and Enjolras gives him a questioning look. "About being even? We are _not_   going to let them go that easy."

"Of course not." Enjolras assures him. "I'll be sure to drink from Combeferre's water bottle tonight, then we'll see how long it takes Courfeyrac to get sick."

Grantaire stops walking. "Wait, what?"

Enjolras throws a smirk over his shoulder. "You'll see."

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a true story. Disclaimer: do not intentionally get your friends sick to expose their relationship. Second disclaimer: this is not how mono works at all, but for the sake of the story, let us say it does. Find me on [tumblr](http://www.lesmiserablol.tumblr.com) !


End file.
